How could this be?
Where does this feeling come from?
I’m not gay!
I don’t even know any gay people! (Of course, I did, but I just didn’t know it yet.)
In college, these feelings only grew stronger, as I made several out and proud homosexual friends. In grad school, I did a project in my Multicultural Counseling class in which I had to choose a population of which I was not a member, and experience as much of that culture as I could. Some of my classmates chose to immerse themselves in cultures of racial or geographical difference. Still others spent a week in a wheelchair or blindfolded. You get the idea. I (and a few others in the class) chose to focus our assignment on homosexual life (as much as a straight gal can, anyway). With the help of a friend and classmate, I explored places and read things and went to meetings that I never would have experienced otherwise. It was eye-opening, and it only deepened my resolve to support the LGBTQ community.
Still the internal struggle continued. I prayed and prayed and prayed on it. I still do. How/why do I feel so differently about these issues than so many of my Christian brothers and sisters including members of my own family? As Christians, we are commanded to put our faith in our Almighty Father, even when we don’t understand His mysterious ways.
Clearly, I’m no theologian. I can’t really answer any of those questions with certainty. I just don’t know. But isn’t that the beauty of how He works in us? We don’t have to have the answers. We don’t have to know why. We just have to have faith, and above all else LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
It was when I had that epiphany that I realized, I don’t have to know why God put this issue in my heart…but I do have to accept it and go where He leads me. There’s no other explanation for why I feel so strongly about marriage equality and gay rights in general. I have no answer to the question I’ve gotten several times, “How can you call yourself a follower of Christ and openly support such things as gay marriage?” I know all of the scripture that those who oppose homosexuality quote to prove their point, and I know the counter arguments. I read my Bible every day, and there are parts of it I know I will never understand, but I also know that I don’t have to understand.
As hard as I’ve tried, I can’t come up with an answer for how or why loving anyone could ever be wrong. That was His greatest commandment to us, after all. I don’t believe that being gay is a choice any more than I chose to be left handed. God made ALL of us, and God doesn’t make mistakes! We are who we are, and we are ALL precious in His sight. There are so many people whom I dearly love who fall on absolute polar opposite sides of this issue. I’m not writing any of this to convince anyone to see things my way. I just want to make it clear where I stand, and I hope you’ll continue to love me anyway.
This is who I am. A God fearing, Jesus following, left-handed, supporter of marriage equality and gay rights. And as confusing and contradictory as it may seem, I passionately believe, fully and whole-heartedly, that God led me to this position, and who am I to question Him?
Today is Maundy Thursday in the holiest week of the year for the Christian faith. This is the day that Jesus gave his disciples his last commandment - “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13: 34-35)
I can think of no better way to celebrate the sacrifice and grace of my savior, than to celebrate any and all forms of love. That’s how He and everyone else will know that I am His.